She Hadn't Been A Virgin and He Hadn't Been A God
by MeanGreenMaureen
Summary: Elphaba's thoughts before she melted. Based off of the song 'Braille' by Regina Spektor. Fiyeraba. oneshot


* * *

She sat in the highest tower of Kiamo Ko, gazing out of the window; thinking. She looked down and grazed her verdant skin, pale in the moonlight, with a long, slender finger. She said nothing; did nothing; just sat there.

"Elphaba," The soft voice of a little boy rang in her ears. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Liir. Is there something the matter?"

"Where are my parents?"

Elphaba, in all her wisdom closed her eyes, thinking of the answer.

_"Is it really safe to be here Elphaba?" A man asked cautiously, playing with his mistress's midnight black hair who in turn smirked._

_"You really are just as bad as a woman Fiyero," She said playfully tracing the blue diamond tattoos on his bare chest. "Of course it's not. That's why I didn't want you to come."_

_"Well, you don't seem to think that now," He breathed, slowly removing his tunic away from her thin body. He took her in his arms and kissed her deeply, fumbling to untie his tunic. When they were both completely naked, neither of them held back their passion_

Tears threatened to fall down her emerald cheeks, but she held back.

"For the last time Liir," She said exasperatedly. "The sisters of Saint Glinda bid I take you with me. You were an orphan there. I do not know your parents."

Elphaba choked on the last bit, but regained composure before the boy registered her emotions. He looked at her in disdain for a moment.

"No one is here to take care of me," Liir spoke tensely. "Aunt Sarima and all her sisters went away. Manek is dead and Nor and Irji went away too."

"Where is Nanny?"

"Nanny's went away too," Liir said sadly. Having only turned eight, he had witnessed death upon death in a number of ways. "Why does everyone go away?"

Liir started to cry. Elphaba said nothing.

"Why is everyone mean to me?"

"No one is mean to yo-"

"Yes they are! You're mean to me too," Liir blubbered. "I want my mum, Elphaba."

The feeling of ambiguity ran its course in the green woman's veins. Elphaba wanted to embrace the boy and tell him that she was his mother. That his father was a prince. That she was sorry that everyone was cruel to him. That she was sorry for not being a good mother, but something held her back. She didn't tell him that she was his mother. She didn't tell him who his father was. She didn't tell him she was sorry.

"Liir, I'm sorry…" She whispered, barely audible. Tears spilled that night for the first time since the disappearance of her prince. Her Love.

_Fiyero looked at his darling Elphaba as she slept. Tomorrow he would write a letter to Sarima telling her that he was in love. He wanted more than anything in the entire world to shout from rooftops that he was in love with the green woman. Elphaba Thropp. But he knew he couldn't. He knew that most knew not of her current existence. He knew he would have to keep it secret forever he was alright with it. As long as she was his to love he was fine with anything he decided to do._

_'Maybe we can even start a family…' He thought trailing off staring into the moonlight. Fiyero smiled as he continued to think about what his future had in store for him. He had no idea that everything would fall apart in a matter of months._

That night Elphaba wrote a letter to Liir :

_**Liir,**_

_**I know this may come as a shock to you, but I am your mother and your father is a very handsome prince. I do not know where he has gone, nor do I know when he will return, but this is his castle. Now that his family has gone, Kiamo Ko can be yours until he returns. I am sorry that I have not been more of a mother to you Liir. I love you and I hope you will have a better life than I have, or than I have given you.**_

_**Your Mother,**_

_**Elphaba Thropp**_

She was going to leave. She grabbed her broom and headed towards the window, when she saw a motley crew making their way towards the castle. A small girl, a Lion, and tinman it looked like, and a scarecrow.

She never said goodbye to him or anyone else she would've like to and Liir never got the letter.

**A/N: Blargh the format is Effed up but I hope you enjoyed this at any rate. :]**


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